My Poetic Justice

I wished our start was different. I’d ran from the abusive arms of another man. I’d wished I had it all together. So, my self abuse you wouldn’t have needed to comprehend.

I wished we stayed together. I wished we would have waited. I wished we’d never had sex. Looking back,  I wished we only dated.

I wished we’d done better. Maybe in another life. I know had we worked passed our issues. You’d more than likely be my husband and I’d be your wife.

I wished I’d never pissed you off through the unexplained mood swings I’d had so much. I wished, to you, I could open up and really talk. Instead I only conversed through kiss, sex, and touch.

I wished we could have just woke up… In a relationship- purely platonic. The world says, “Sex clarifies things.” But from so much confusion, we broke up…Isn’t that ironic?

I wish sex did clarify things. That way I could keep it straight in my head…that sex with you and randoms outside of marriage, Hmmm…I’ve always known I should have never climbed in your beds.

But I did and I wished I hadn’t. So, in prayer I went down on my knees. So sad, I’d never gotten it together. Not long after, I invited the world into my “Sex Sprees.”

Now, I wish that I could help the whole world from certain doom and assure you all that you can wait. Stop eating everybody’s groceries and tossing salads! Enjoy one another on our wedding days.

I can’t lie. LOL! There are times that I wish I could do it. Sex you all, I’d do well. But to go without it all this time for the Lord and purposely mess up? Personally, I’d wish, more so, to burn in hell.

I can’t wish to wish anymore. The struggle is oh so real. But through all these dang gone wishes, You’ll know exactly how I feel.

I still love you…always will. To have you would be a dream. I wish only to be with you, or anybody else for that matter, morally right…Only if the Lord deems.

I pray the peace of God over all of your hearts and decisions. Love you guys!

Cheryl

 

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