My sister and I were talking on our way to Six Flags. We were listening to this underground rapper, whose name escapes me right now, but he was truly in love with this young lady. Many men tried to holla at her but she wasn’t interested. He never had the guts to actually step to her but became and remained one of her closest friends. They did everything together and he said he never had sex with her but really wanted to know her for who she was. He ran with the wrong crowd doing bad things and she told him that he was better than that. Because of her, he tried to get his act together but eventually got locked up for some time and they lost contact. When he had gotten out he looked for her. The first place he visited was her mom’s house. He was greeted warmly by the mother but the warmth left as soon as their embrace unlocked. She had news for him. He assumed the worst as she told him that a letter addressed to himself was waiting on her daughter’s bed. He went to read it and, long story short, she was HIV Positive and she knew that by the time he read that letter, her life would be no more. She tells him how proud she was of him, that she loved him and wished she could have made love to him but knew the consequences of her choice had she decided to go there. My mouth dropped and I teared up. This could have been me as I told you all in a few posts back.
So, yesterday I questioned my choices and if it’s worth it: writing this blog, wondering if people actually care about my testimonies or are they laughing at my pain, my decisions to be obedient, the glares I get when people hear I’m not sexing everybody, the “when you getting married look” and a host of other craziness. My answer: my stance is just as strong…if not, stronger! I hope and pray that you all are on my bandwagon.
As I write this, I remembered my sister telling me the stats of HIV positive people in Chicago. Did you know that since 2013, there are 21,602 people living with diagnosed HIV? Probably not. Chicago is reported to have thousands of cases each year and there is no end in sight. People are promiscuous and want to sex who they want, “eat the groceries” of who they want, and then they are afraid of hearing the results of that meal. So, I think my decision to stand firm in the measure of faith that was given to me is well worth it.
I pray that the man that steps into my life sees me as worth it as I know that I am and I’ve not waited all this time for nothing. More so, I hope that he also sees the gift of waiting can build you up not only in the sexual areas but the spiritual, emotional, and physical as well. I for sure have more patience than I’ve ever had and that is well worth it. I have a piece of mind that does not come from mere man. You can have this too if you just make up your mind and wait. If you don’t think it’s for you, please don’t knock the ones who feel otherwise. I’m sure that the men and women in Chicago wished they had waited. I wish it for them and my heart goes out to them and their families.
Accept the words, “You’re negative” coming from your doctor today. Accept the words, “I love you and want what is best for you” coming from your Lord and Savior today.
Love ya guys!